Living the Happy Life
7 Sep, 2017
Everyone wants to live the Happy Life don’t they? But life as we know it tends to get in the way. We called on one of Asia’s most sought after Life Coach’s and an Energetic Healer, Nicky Kassapian, to share her wisdom.
Nicky is the author of the book ‘Be Yourself –the art of stepping up’. She is a holistic healer and life coach. She is also an Advanced Craniosacral therapist, a Reiki master and practitioner.
What are you thoughts on living a happy life?
Simplify, simplify, simplify your life!
The less you define yourself by what you have, what you do and who you know, and the more personal responsibility you can take, the more present you can be in the here and now, and that freedom brings joy.
Your book is called ‘Be Yourself- The Art of Stepping Up’, Be Yourself as opposed to what?
As opposed to being what we think others want us to be, or being what we think they don’t want us to be. We create ourselves to ‘fit in’ either from a desire to please or a resistance to do so. In both cases we have missed the opportunity to show up genuinely and authentically.
In your book you talk about the world coming from us, as opposed to at us. Tell us more…
We like to think that the world is coming at us. It is not. The world is actually coming from us. This is a move away from the external, from the ‘it is not my fault’ refrain, and from the blame and shame patterns, we have long operated through. Move over victim consciousness. It is a move towards taking personal responsibility for what is showing up in our lives and how we have played a part in its presence, in doing so, we are empowering ourselves with truth, to become the instrument of transformation. That requires self honesty and acceptance, forgiveness of self and compassion. It is profoundly liberating, for both ourselves and others.
Is The Happy Life elusive? With divorce rates rising every year, what is the Matrix of Love?
The Matrix of Love expresses itself through the following attributes; trust, allowing, acceptance, forgiveness, unity consciousness, gratitude and integrity. Kindness to the self and others, and it creates space, freedom and peace. It allows all beings to be valued and respected. The matrix of love is the antithesis of the matrix of fear which is all about control, separation, limitation, restriction and victim consciousness. It creates contraction, pain and suffering.
If you allow yourself to be seen and heard and communicate in a non violent, clear way and can allow your partner the same, then you can begin interacting without defensiveness and meet each other as you actually are, moment by moment in a more interdependent relationship.
What are your top tips on navigating successful relationships? – I take it this is love relationships given how it follows question 7…however it could be true for all relationships
Be kind to yourself and the other
Celebrate each others gifts and bring out the best in each other
Leave gossip out of all your relationships
Handle your ‘scripts/stories’
Get help when you need it and work on your side of things. Stop blaming the other.
Communicate with each other, find the ways to be heard and to listen effectively./ Practice non violent communication and effective ways of expressing your needs and honouring the needs of others
Show up as you, not what you think others want you to show up as.
Allow others to show up as themselves and not ‘fit’ into your dream projection of them. Laugh a lot.
Drop all expectations and assumptions and allow.
Remember everything constantly changes.
Thanks for the insight Nicky!
Nicky has been running her private practice in centres in Bali Indonesia, Cambodia, Australia, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore since 2000 and works by distance with many clients worldwide.Nicky is available for in person healing and coaching sessions as well as online consultations. Simply get in touch below.
Her acclaimed Self Help Book ‘The Art of Stepping Up’ is available on Amazon here